Blog: Wrestling my greatest dream and worst nightmare in the same night
I was preparing for my interview with a reporter from MLB.com who was coming to meet me on-campus at Ohio University at 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday.
If I were to get this internship, I would be working for one of Major League Baseball's 30 teams as an intern alongside their team beat reporter. A lot of MLB's interns go on to have jobs with Major League Baseball or another major media organization. As a lifelong baseball nut and budding sports journalist, this is my dream job and I never imagined having this opportunity straight out of college upon my graduation this upcoming May.
But it was right in front of me and all I had to do was fall asleep and wake up the next morning; be myself and hope for the best. Then the election results started pouring in and this crazy American nightmare turned into my reality: Donald Trump will be the President of the United States.
That night's sleep was by far the weirdest mix of emotions I will ever tangle with. One side of my brain was so excited for the hope of tomorrow representing an opportunity for the start to my dream career -- my confidence is at an all time high. But I also knew when I rolled out of bed tomorrow to start my day, millions of Americans would be hurting and full of fear. I went to bed devastated and feeling hurt while every single surviving member of the KKK was screaming for joy I'd imagine. This just wasn't the America I thought I knew. I'm well aware of our past but going backwards like this...I could't wrap my head around it.
The American ideals of treating people of all races, genders, sexual orientation, religion with equality are often celebrated. These are the values I grew up to be taught that stood above all in America. But Trump's rise solidified in my mind that this was a false-sense of teaching and we have to make it better moving forward. These weren't the thoughts I expected to have the night before the most anticipated meeting of my life.
Among the several groups of people who have been attacked by Trump's campaign and some of his supporters with hateful rhetoric are Jewish journalists. "The Media," which is an industry dominated by Jews, became an enemy of Trump and his supporters due to their feelings that too many journalists are overly liberal and treated his campaign unfairly. Anti-semitism is on the rise in this country with the emergence of the alt-right movement, which of course supports Trump.
There's no hiding who I am. I'm a jewish journalist and more of a target in my country then I ever considered. As a white male from the East Coast's upper class, I never pictured myself (or someone of similar background) as someone who would potentially deal with prejudice in 21st century America. But here we are. I'll be fine but will be mindful that other people who are non-White Christian males may not be so lucky.
To put this into baseball terms, if the dreams and nightmares that plagued my election night taught me anything, it's that life is full of curveballs. Life gives you no fastballs down the middle and nothing is guaranteed so you just have to adjust to these off speed pitches. It was all the more fitting that when I went to print out my resume and clips at the library a couple hours before my interview, none of the printers were working. I found printers elsewhere.
Wednesday was such a gloomy day outside that I'll never forget -- but I think my interview with MLB.com went excellent. We had a great face-to-face conversation for about 35 minutes and I know I am a strong candidate for a position that receives over 300 applicants. So we'll see how it goes. If it doesn't workout this time around, I think I'll get to working in baseball someday. Or whatever I want to do.
Call it election night or my dream-interview eve. My worst nightmare and biggest dream was right their in front of me while I laid powerless. I didn't get much sleep. What a weird night -- I'm ready to move forward.
-Andrew
